Day nine

Who is the person who's gotten me through the most?

"Getting me through" has come in many different forms throughout my life and when I first thought of this question I thought about God, about Jesus, my constant savior and deliverer. So many times he has plucked me out of a storm, or stilled it around me. And at other times he's given me surprising strength or unbelievable peace to remain in the midst of it. Yet there continue to be instances in which I bat away his hand and refused to be consoled or rescued.

God understands me and anticipates my unwillingness to accept his supernatural help and love. I am ashamed of this, but grateful. I know my need of Him, I just don't want to cooperate, for whatever reason.

So, God has given me many people in my life to soothe my heart and mind and save my neck and to point me back to Him.

Like my dad.

He and I don't exactly understand each other. It's one of his favorite things to say about me. But at this point in our lives we seem to accept and respect each other's differences which is very comforting.

I am secure because I am a Christian, I know I will be loved always and that I am in the hands of the sustainer of the universe. But I also find security in my dad.

If my car broke down and I needed to be picked up anywhere on the West Coast I would call my dad. (In fact I would call him from anywhere in the world, but he and his truck might not show up there personally.) If I needed money for anything, I would ask my dad (and I don't know that I've ever actually had to ask, but it's been given). If I needed someone to accept and support me in a decision, not because he agrees with me, but because it's just what he does, I would call my dad.

"Would everyone think we were crazy if we [blah blah blah]?," asked Tom the other day.

"My dad wouldn't."

I love my dad for the mistakes which humble him and soften his heart.

I love him for how highly he values all kinds of beauty.

I love him because of how good he wants to be.

He has helped me more than he knows. Just knowing I can count on him has helped me, and Tom, through so much fear and worry. He doesn't just want to save the day - he wants us not to be troubled, he wants us to be at peace.

And it works like a charm.