I am missing my boy. It is a very rare Sunday that I don't get to spend the entire day with him; which is important, because it is the only day I usually get to spend with him. But this Sunday he isn't here. Due to a series of unfortunate events (not uncommon in his line of work) he needed to be there since yesterday (with a couple hours of sleep at home) and may not come home tonight at all. It is hard to sleep when he's not here. I usually end up staying awake until two or three not getting anything done, despite my own (thankfully) very different schedule. It's hard to support and comfort him when I want support and comfort myself. It's hard to want anything but his arms around me and the promise of time together.
But despite the blessing that Sunday usually is in that way I know that that isn't what this day is really about, or any day. I know that I am not alone and that what my heart is yearning for most is not Tom.
I am so proud of Tom. And I had a wonderful day today with my best friend Lane, who is always there to help me and entertain me and eat good food with me. And listen to me. The prospect of getting into bed is not an inviting one, and I am considering easing into it with some pajama-wearing, file-sorting time. Getting things organized for possible, future, house-buying ventures ?
I have such a bright future, past and present with rooted in my God. Maybe those roots can dig deeper tonight in the quiet of my little home as they search for such nourishment as they can find in solitude.
1 comment:
Aw, Dee, I hope you were able to find some solace. I can understand how you might be feeling, at least to a degree. It definitely gets hard when your heart is not there beside you. And, it is hard to try to be strong when you don't feel quite so strong on the inside. Chin up! It will get better because it has to :) That's what I tell myself. If I tell myself it will because it must, that usually seems to work - I don't know what kind of psychology that is, but it works so it doesn't really matter, does it?
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