Thursday, February 20, 2014

Pregnancy frustration/redemption

Pregnancy culture is frustrating me. I feel blessed that I have the resources and support that many women throughout time and space have done, and do, without but I am feeling bombarded and a little bullied and it really is all too much. I've dove into this realm knowingly, wanting to be prepared and informed and ahead of the game. I've brought it upon myself. But it really is crazy, and here's why:
You are told to rest! Relax! Enjoy it! Focus on you and the baby! And GET A BUNCH OF STUFF DONE!!
Also, think about every way that you are moving (even when you're sleeping) and everything that you are eating and drinking and when!
You should cook meals to freeze; clean, organize; and stock up and in all other ways get ready for the time you will have the baby. But keep your feet elevated!
You can keep working outside the home (oh, thanks) you'll need the money later anyway.
Get exercise!
Make a registry; make a birth plan; figure out what you want to do in the hospital and be 100% sure of it or it'll all go wrong and you'll end up unhappy!
Interview pediatricians, interview doctors, interview doulas and midwives, research vaccines and birthing methods and parenting styles.
Figure out how to pay for everything.
Go to the dentist.
Drink more water. Don't drink that water. Don't drink out of that bottle. What are you waiting for? Drink more water! No, more than that. Yeah. Pee! Keep peeing! Pee all the time while you're trying to get everything else done, and rest.
Don't push too hard when you poop. Elevate your feet when you poop. Well, go find the foot stool!
Don't cross your legs! Look at these cute dresses you can wear.
Be intimate with your partner. Ask them to come home from work and clean and fill your gas tank and cook and give you a massage and go to classes and go to appointments and look at this paint color and do all the painting and read to the baby and read books about babies and lift things and carry things and be informed on decisions. Expect them to do special things for you and to be strong when you're overwhelmed. And you? Don't feel guilty about it!
Don't eat soft cheese.
Document what you are going through.
Write letters to your baby. Read to you baby.
Be grateful and cheerful and calm.
Take pictures of yourself for your baby. Take them every week! Share them with family and friends, they want to know! Don't be rude and antisocial and insecure about your constantly changing body.
You should go shopping for new clothes!
You should get a massage!
You should go on a vacation with your husband.
You will wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to sleep. You will feel pain in most parts of your body. You will have very little energy and need extra sleep during the day (but you can keep working). You will not be able to remember and keep track of things. You will feel labor pain which can feel like torture. You will doubt yourself. You will be afraid and worried. You will want to have sex and it will be difficult. You will not want to have sex. You will feel unattractive. "In this world you will have trouble.

But take heart! I have overcome the world."

"A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world."

It is too much for me, but it is not too much for Him and he can redeem what feels lost in a sea of "too much".
"... she forgets the anguish because of her joy..."
"I have overcome the world."
"... take heart!"

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