Dream

I fell asleep for hours and had a dream that left such an emotional impression on me. It was all beautiful looking and about generally good things but when I woke up I kept thinking, "I feel so forlorn," and I kept thinking "forlorn" even though that's a strange thing to think.

And I also felt, when I woke up, like maybe my life had changed in some way when I was asleep not like some tragedy had befallen me but that it had changed in some magical way, like on Big when Tom Hanks character wakes up and is 30 years old. I heard a voice outside that sounded just like Tom's, which isn't usual, and I knew that he wouldn't be home so early and that if he were home he wouldn't be on that side of the house.

There were things in my dream that I was trying desperately to remember because they were so cool, such great ideas for real life that my brain had invented. But I was feeling so much that remembering them, at the same time, felt pretty pointless.

I think the dream was about me getting married, again, but to Tom, just a second time for some reason. And my sister Brooke kept getting really upset about things that really weren't a big deal. Something fell into her bottle of barbecue sauce or tanning lotion and she started spilling it all over the yard and was stressing me out during the ceremony, and that was strange too.

At the end of the dream I was in a house that I was unpacking my things into, not a house I really know. But in my dream I realized, or knew, that it was my Grandparents' house.

I just felt lonely and isolated and kind of empty, throughout the whole dream. But when I woke up I was so calmly accepting that something may have changed.