Consider the great love of the Lord

I apologize for the lack of pictures. I haven't been taking any. This term has finally picked up and I was not prepared. I was also not prepared to sign up for classes today and really should be thankful that I even realized it was time. It came into my head just in the nick of time because of God and his providence - despite me and my carelessness.

I have been worrying though, because I am only signed up for one course and I have been awaiting (anxiously), for the past... oh, 3 hours, confirmation for two classes I need to graduate. Of course confirmation isn't going to come tonight. The woman whose help I need is out with... maybe I heard this wrong but... a head injury? I know I should feel compassion for someone with a head injury, or anything making them take a sick day, but... I am hoping there will be something I can do tomorrow. I know I am being foolish. I know my "hope" is in myself or in this woman, and not in God through whom all things are possible.

And what I need Him for most of all right now is comfort, and yet I am so reluctant to come to Him. Because I feel like I have to be vigilant and careful to make things work, not forgiven, comforted. But the time for that has passed - I wasn't vigilant about what I needed to do, or careful to do it. I've screwed up. I've fallen short. It's hard to really admit it and allow for mercy, comfort and help.

Even over so little a thing.

I spoke to my sister Brooke for the first time in a long time. I looked to her for comfort and she was good enough to tell me to pray, and that she would pray for me. I knew I needed to pray, and Tom told me to pray and I told him, "I know!" The doing is the hard thing and it is good to be told - as many times as it takes. But when I got off the phone, and onto the floor, trying to screw up my concentration, and put away my distracting thoughts, I thought of that song that goes:

I cast all my cares upon You

I lay all of my burdens down at your feet

and anytime that I don't know what to do

I will cast all my cares upon You

God in His mercy saw that I learned this song at a young age, and he reminds me of it when I don't quite know what to say and my head is full of what does nothing to help me.

So much in life is going so beautifully, perfectly well and I would disregard all my blessings to hang on to a scrap of worry?

"Whoever is wise, let him heed these things, and consider the great love of the Lord." Psalm 107:43

Oh, how often I am twice foolish. But three times? Not tonight. Tonight I will choose to love wisdom. To lay my worries down and care for the things of today. I will clean my house and do my work and count it as joy (James 1) and I will lift up my eyes to the hills, where my help comes from (Psalm 121) and I will love God more than myself.